Using mediation, collaboration or arbitration as an alternative to going to court

Mediation, collaboration and arbitration are all positive alternatives to going to court and tend to have less impact on your children. Members of our family law team are accredited collaborative lawyers as well as accredited mediators, who can guide you whichever process you choose.

A relationship breakdown is inevitably stressful, but there are ways to ease the strain and eliminate the anxiety of going to court. Family mediation and collaboration are ways to reach an agreement through discussion and negotiation.

These routes are especially worthwhile if you have children. They will be able to see that you’re still working together to find a solution, in an atmosphere that’s conciliatory rather than confrontational.

What is family mediation?

In family law mediation sessions, you and your former partner sit around a table (or occasionally in separate rooms) to discuss matters with the help of a neutral third party, the mediator.

You decide the issues for discussion in mediation, which often focus on divorce and separation, financial issues and dealing with arrangements or disputes relating to children. The mediator helps to facilitate the process and guide the discussions, but the decisions about the outcomes are yours. The mediator can give legal information, but not legal advice, they will refer you to your individual solicitor for advice, which works in tandem with the mediation process.

Mediation is a flexible and bespoke process which will move at your pace, with as many sessions as you require. It is completely voluntary, and you are free to withdraw at any time.

For more information on family mediation costs and to arrange your initial individual meeting, please contact Sarah French today or call on 023 8071 8878.

What is the mediation process?

Once one of you has contacted us, we will arrange individual initial appointments with each of you. We will send you an Agreement to Mediate and the Mediation Preliminary Information Form before your individual appointments.

Our Law Society-accredited family law mediators offer an initial individual meeting to explain more about the mediation process and answer any questions you may have. If family mediation services are suitable and both of you wish to proceed, we’ll then arrange joint sessions.

After signing the agreement to mediate, both of you will work with the mediator to:

  • Explain your family situation
  • Agree the issues you need to discuss
  • Decide the priority of the issues
  • Set timescales
  • Clarify the issues in dispute
  • Consider whether any other specialists might be able to help you
  • Find the common ground
  • Provide/obtain information i.e. details about any property you own, and your income and expenditure
  • Look at the various options and reality test those options. When there are financial issues, you will need to consider what everyone in the family needs – especially the children
  • Arrive at the option that best suits you both, and work out the details of your proposals

How long do mediation sessions last?

The initial individual meetings usually last about half an hour. They are typically followed by around four joint sessions of 1.5 – 2 hours each.

What is the mediator’s role?

The mediator will assist and guide you both towards your own resolution. The mediator does not decide the outcome, but helps you understand and focus on the important issues needed to reach a solution that might work best for you and your family. Our family mediation solicitor is trained by Resolution.

Do I need a solicitor for mediation?

You do not have to have a solicitor in order to take part in mediation sessions, but we encourage you to take some legal advice alongside the process. Our mediators can provide you both with legal information, but not advice.

What is family mediation or mediation for parents?

If you are parents applying for an order in relation to your children, the courts now require you to consider mediation. Mediation allows you to remain in control of any decisions affecting your child or children. You will need to arrange and attend a mediation information assessment meeting (referred to as a MIAM). You’ll also need to prove to the court that you’ve attended this meeting as part of your application.

Where are the mediation meetings and how much will they cost?

Mediation is available at all our offices in Guildford, Southampton, Lymington, Richmond, Woking and the City of London. All offices can offer separate rooms if time apart is needed during the sessions. Your individual meetings and the joint mediation sessions can also be conducted online if you prefer and this is suitable for what you need to discuss.

We offer a range of hourly rates and some fixed fees for your individual meetings with our mediators, with the joint sessions charged at our hourly rate per couple, i.e. if you agree to share the mediator’s costs equally you pay for time charged at half of our mediators’ hourly rates.

Arranging family mediation

For more information on costs and to arrange your initial individual meeting, please call Sarah French on 023 8071 8878.

For referrers

If you would like to refer a client for mediation, please email Sarah French.

What is collaborative approach?

The collaborative approach is where both of you and your respective solicitors engage together in several face-to-face meetings to help settle points between you, typically involving your children and finances.

As experienced collaborative approach solicitors, we will give you both ‘real time’ legal advice, practical help and guidance in these meetings, which are intended to be informal and constructive so you can openly explore different options in a safe and managed environment. Several members of our Family law team are accredited collaborative solicitors.

We may involve neutral experts in the meetings also such as family consultants, accountants or pension experts.

What is divorce arbitration?

If you and your partner are struggling to reach an agreed outcome, you may want to consider using arbitration as an alternative to court. As a couple, you can choose the arbitrator who acts as a ‘judge’. The benefit of arbitration over a court process is that you will always have the same ‘judge’.

You can choose the timing of the process to suit you (rather than a court schedule), and you know you’ll be heard at a given time on a set date rather than having to wait in the court precinct.

The decision of the arbitrator is final, and the couple agree to be bound by that decision. As your solicitors, we would prepare your case for arbitration and be by your side every step of the way.

To find out more about arbitration, mediation or collaborative approach processes, contact Sarah French on 023 8071 8878.

Read our FAQs on Arbitration.

Mediation referral form

Complete our mediation form


View our ‘Collaborative process’ factsheet.

Contact our solicitors

Get in touch with our legal experts for advice.