When you are at school, you wait eagerly for the summer holidays – counting down the days until you have six weeks off. Sometimes there is the hurdle of exams, after which, freedom awaits. For some, the summer holidays are a nostalgic time filled with fish and chips at the seaside, family holidays and sunny weather (mostly!). For others, the summer holidays can be a difficult time with the pressure of keeping everyone occupied, which can test even the strongest relationships. So why do more people divorce in September?
Family lawyers often see a spike in new enquiries from those seeking a divorce or advice on separation in September. The summer holiday months are quieter, with families busy juggling activities, work and holidays; meaning there is often an influx from those who have waited until normality resumes before embarking on the journey of divorce or separation.
Relationships can break down at any time but seeking legal advice can feel like an overwhelming process, which tends to bring finality to the decision to end a relationship, marriage or civil partnership.
I explore below some of the reasons people seek our expert advice in September.
Financial pressure
For children, the idea of six weeks of free time is bliss. However, for families who are struggling financially, the need to occupy children for that length of time can create tension.
There are lots of activities in the summer, which all have a cost attached. It might be days out, sports clubs, activities or play dates – they all add to the financial pressure of keeping the summer holiday magic alive.
In the current economic climate, where the cost of living is rising and families are feeling the pinch; the cost of activities, summer clubs and days out is also increasing, adding extra stress and tension to family life, which can lead to tension in relationships. This is added to by the end of holiday school uniform shop, which can cause a significant financial strain.
The family juggle
Family life is a juggle. The day to day routine of school makes it easier to manage ‘the juggle’ because weeks tend to follow the same pattern.
The school holidays add a sense of chaos to the mix – there is no longer a routine and there are suddenly 101 more things to remember or organise. It can be incredibly difficult to manage working responsibilities alongside the long summer break, with competing interests needing your time.
A common theme in those who come to see us in September, is not feeling supported in ‘the juggle’ and feeling the extra burden is solely on them. Often, this is not a problem that only appears in the holidays, but one generally in family life that is pushed to breaking point over the long holiday break. If this is a niggle during day to day life, it tends to be brushed under the carpet. However, when there is a such a long break where there is a lack of routine, any cracks in a relationship tend to deepen.
Annual holiday
Do you remember the fun family holidays of the summer? For kids, this is a great time to explore somewhere new, let off some steam and eat lots of ice cream. It is often a time that is treasured, and the anticipation of trip builds over the months leading up to it.
Unfortunately, it may not be so fun for the adults, who contend with the organising, packing, travel delays and general stresses of whether the holiday lives up to everyone’s hope. Often, the stress of a holiday that has not gone to plan means people re-evaluate their relationship.
Fresh start
Much like the summer holidays being a signifying moment as a child, so too is September. A fresh start. A new academic year. A time to start again and think about what you might want to achieve.
As children return to school, and family life is buzzing with the new changes to school life, people that struggled over the summer period can also crave a fresh start, leading to them reaching out to us.
Sometimes, families have decided the relationship has irretrievably broken down, but the family continues with their planned summer holidays or summer plans, meaning that they actively wait until the summer period is over, and the children have enjoyed one last summer. From May onwards, big exams for secondary school children happen, which parents also usually avoid in terms of a divorce; and it is typical for clients to say they wanted to cause as little disruption to their children’s exams as possible. Once the school holidays begin, parents tend to wait, meaning they may have been resolute about the relationship being over for some time, but waited until the best time for their family before speaking to us.
September is also a time when older children head off to university and it is easier for parents to manage separating once their children have begun their own paths and have the excitement of their new journey, away from the family home and any tension which may come from a separation or divorce. Often, without children in the home to keep the family focused, spouses or civil partners begin to assess their relationships and whether they are actually happy.
The September spike
Deep-rooted problems that are easy to mask in the day to day hustle and bustle of family life often come to the forefront when the summer holidays occur, and this can be for a variety of reasons. The summer holidays can push families to their limits, and if a marriage, civil partnership or relationship was already facing difficulties, the pressure of the summer holidays often leads people to decide to part ways once they are over.
How can Moore Barlow help?
Our friendly Family law team are the lawyers you need exactly when your family needs them. If you are faced with a breakdown of your relationship and you want to seek expert advice, we are always happy to help you, and explain the options available to you and your family. If you have any questions, or want to speak to someone, please do contact us.
