What is divorce coaching? Your key questions answered

There are many ways we can support you through your divorce or separation.

Having retired as a lawyer I wanted to explore different ways in which I could help our clients navigate the divorce and separation process. Many family lawyers now champion the different roles family law professionals can provide to support their clients when facing what is after all one of the top three most stressful experiences one may endure.

The family team at Moore Barlow have worked hard not only to re-train and become experienced in non-court dispute resolution practices such as mediation, collaborative law and the more recent arrival of our one couple one lawyer approach, Accord, but to expand our offering to promote the holistic services one can provide under a different mantel such as divorce and separation coaching.

Having hung up my hat as a lawyer and adopting that, amongst others, as a divorce and separation coach I am still frequently asked;

What is divorce coaching?

Unusually it may be easier to begin with what it is not….

It’s not talking about one’s own divorce and sharing experiences, that does not make a divorce coach!

It’s not giving advice on how it was for me going through a divorce or what I think about the behaviour of your ex or what I would do in your situation. It’s not about me as the coach but about the client.

How does divorce coaching work? 

Simply put I offer clients a confidential space to be heard, to be actively listened to, and to give voice to their emotions, fears, and wishes in a non-judgemental environment. I create a working alliance with them based on their specific needs and requirements when facing a divorce or separation.

What’s the divorce coaching process?

Initially having taken time to understand their unique situation, I start with probing, challenging questions, inviting clients to start to think differently and deeply about what it is that they are facing and the issues they wish to resolve.

It’s a collaboration between the client and me as their coach. We work together to explore the client’s resources enabling them to move forward and gain clarity on the decisions they need to make.

Why might you need a divorce coach?

Many clients seek emotional support beyond that which has historically formed part of the day-to-day role of a family lawyer whose main role after all is to provide legal advice and guidance. At Moore Barlow we have an excellent team to provide that advice.

Coaching is about mobility, it is very much looking to the future and how the client can manage the changes they will need to make both practically and emotionally resourced to cope with those. 

How can a divorce coach assist you through the divorce process?

Too many attempts to use out of court processes falter because of the emotions at play, or because clients are ill prepared for the experience. Many clients who have been through a toxic relationship have been redefined by their circumstances or their partner. As a consequence, they feel overwhelmed by the prospect of trying to resolve their issues or having to face their partner and engage with them in any forum.

Coaching offers them a chance to rediscover who they are. It’s about hearing the louder more positive words about themselves, reconnecting with their historic achievements and confident self. That enables them to be prepared for and so better manage the non-court dispute resolution processes. It can assist clients to remain present in the sessions, future focused and connected enabling them to achieve a quicker and better solution for them and their family as whole.

Should you wish to know more about how divorce coaching can support you alongside the services of the family team at Moore Barlow please contact Jan Galloway. Alternatively, explore Moore Barlow’s full divorce service offering and discover how we can help you and your family.