Some people feel that they are so far apart that mediation cannot possibly work. However, the very fact that they are willing to consider using mediation is a positive step towards resolution. Mediation can help, in many ways, bridge that apparent gap to enable you to find some common ground.
How can mediation help us?
At its most basic level, the mediation forum provides a safe space for you to hear the other person and to feel as if you have been heard. A mediator will facilitate that by giving you each time to have your say, to explain your feelings and standpoint without interruption or being talked over.
Lack of communication is the biggest hurdle to resolution and learning to communicate is a first step towards finding a solution.
What if we can’t agree on anything?
I frequently hear this from clients in their assessment meetings. When you attend a joint session and have the chance in a structured environment to ask questions and clarify what is being said, it can be a surprise how much common ground you share. A mediator can reframe what is said in perhaps a more palatable and less emotional way to assist that understanding. That way it is only the bare facts and not the emotion that is heard.
A mediator can also ask clarifying questions on your behalf to ensure there is a clear understanding of your respective concerns and issues. That in itself can support progress. Clarity leads to better understanding and understanding can lead to acceptance of each other’s point of view.
I know they won’t change their mind
Sometimes when you are being asked by the person who has hurt you the most and caused you distress, to change your mind or to agree with their point of view, it seems impossible to do. A skilful mediator can help normalise such reactions and behaviours and offer alternatives that neither of you may have thought of, as a compromise between you. Even small compromises can lead to big changes. Also when dealing with issues concerning your children, being invited by the mediator to see things through your children’s eyes can help change your perspective.
I’m afraid to say what I want to say
Some clients feel they are unable to express their view for fear of repercussions. A mediator can create a secure environment for those difficult conversations to take place. A Mediator can place you each in separate physical or virtual rooms. Then they reflect what your partner says to you and your response back without direct contact between you. They can also work alongside another mediator from another professional background, such as counselling, to offer a sense of balance in the room. That at times enables you to work through those tough conversations and find a way forward.
There are of course some circumstances where mediation may not be right for you and the assessment meeting is in place for that purpose. They are experienced in being able to gauge whether there is a chance of resolution in a way that is beneficial to you both.
If not then they will offer you other alternative methods to resolve your issues.
How Moore Barlow can help
If you need a family mediation solicitor, we can help by providing a neutral and confidential environment for families to discuss and resolve disputes. We offer a collaborative approach to resolving issues such as divorce, child custody, and financial matters. Our goal is to help families reach mutually beneficial agreements without the need for costly and time-consuming court battles.
