New year, fresh start? Each year many look to make new resolutions. Whether it is to take up a hobby or go to the gym that you pay for each month. With the promise of a new year and new possibilities, this time of year sees many couples decide they want a fresh start in their home and family life. So how do you navigate a healthy divorce?
As with anything a fresh start can feel overwhelming, and the thought of starting the divorce process is no different, but there are ways to make the process feel more positive, like a healthy divorce experience, and here are some tips.
Seek advice
One of the most important first steps you can take for yourself, is to obtain legal advice as early as possible. Even if you have not completely settled on the idea of separating, it is important that you understand your rights and obligations before you take any steps. Your legal advisor will be able to set out the variety of routes available to you to assist with keeping matters as amicable as possible, and to try and reach an agreement.
Finances
It is very common in the early days of separation for ad hoc payments to be made. These can be payments for household utilities, mortgage, child maintenance, or household upkeep. It is important that you keep a record of any payments made or received and try to avoid making payments in cash. Try not to agree to sell any key assets in a piecemeal way without an overall agreement in place. Rarely do assets need to be sold quickly so resist giving in to pressure to do so.
Family home
The family home is typically the most valuable asset that a couple owns, whether it is owned in joint names or not. Married couples are both entitled to occupy the family home. One spouse cannot simply evict the other from the home or change the locks without consent. However the needs of the children to be housed are likely to be a paramount consideration. If your personal safety is threatened (or the safety of the children) then seek urgent solicitor advice as to the options available to you.
Children
If you have children, it is important that both you and your partner reassure them that although you don’t get on anymore, they are safe and loved by you both. Becoming a separated parent is not something you may have anticipated, whilst it is challenging in so many ways and can be very daunting, be open with the children without involving them in the conflict. Give the children permission to enjoy time with each parent. There is lots of advice on this issue in the Resolution – Parenting through separation guide.
Top Tip
It can be difficult to see the road ahead during separation and even consider a healthy divorce. Everyone will have an opinion on your situation and maybe their own story to tell – however from a legal perspective every family’s circumstances are different, so try not to compare your family with anyone else’s. It is your family after all.
How Moore Barlow can help
At Moore Barlow, our family and divorce lawyers believe in providing a range of options that best suit you and your family to ensure that it is best fit for you during this process This could be via family mediation, collaborative law and solicitor negotiation and are all viable ways to avoid court and the associated costs.