How to choose the right family mediator

What is a family mediator?

A family mediator is an impartial and neutral third party who helps individuals and families resolve disputes outside of court. Mediation can be used to help participants to discuss and agree a financial settlement arising from a divorce, as well as arrangements for how the children should spend their time after a separation. 

Mediation offers a more collaborative approach to resolving issues and gives participants greater control over the overall agreement, in contrast to a court process where someone will make a decision for you. A mediator’s role is to facilitate effective communication between participants, helping them reach solutions that fit their individual circumstances and works best for their family.

If you are considering mediation, we have an approach to show you how to choose the right family mediator. Choosing the right mediator is vital to ensuring an open and safe space is created to facilitate communication and create a more positive experience.  

Understand the role of a mediator

Before selecting a mediator, it’s important to understand what they do.

  • What a mediator does: the mediator is responsible for managing the discussions between parties, ensuring the method of mediation is appropriate (link to Antonia blog on types) and that a space is created where both parties feel safe and able to openly discuss the issues that have brought them to the mediation process. 
  • What a mediator doesn’t do: A mediator does not provide legal advice, but they can provide information to facilitate discussions. They also do not make decisions for the parties and instead will ask questions or suggest options to consider which can help parties reach a decision between them.

Qualifications and accreditation

Mediators gain qualifications to become a mediator, but not all mediators are also trained solicitors. A mediator who is also a trained family solicitor, while not able to give legal advice, will be able to give information about what a judge may consider to help facilitate discussions, and they will also be aware of the practicalities of turning the agreement you reach into a legally binding document, meaning they are able to ensure the agreement you reach consider the practicalities that your solicitor will then need to deal with.

Consider specialisation and experience

Choose a mediator who is experienced in the issues you are facing.

  • Specialisation in family matters: Some mediators are trained a child-inclusive mediators and have more experience dealing with issues relating to children; whereas other may have more experience dealing with assisting in financial agreements, including experience in complex assets such as property portfolios or business structures. 
  • Experience with similar cases: When you make enquiries with potential mediators, it is important to ask questions of them to ensure they have the experience you require to help facilitate the discussions which will hopefully result in an agreement being reached. 

Personal comfort and communication style

You’ll need to feel comfortable with your mediator.

Before choosing a mediator, speak to them about the issues you are facing and their approach to mediation. Every mediator will run their mediation sessions differently and will have a different communication style.

It is important to choose a mediator whose approach aligns with your needs; for example, you may desire a more direct approach compared to a more empathetic one. Equally, if you have any concerns, such as there being a power dynamic in the relationship between the parties, it is important to establish how the mediator will manage that dynamic, to provide confidence in the process and the mediator chosen. 

Cost of mediation services

Understand the financial implications before making a decision.

  • What affects the cost of mediation?: You will need to speak with the mediator about their costs and how many sessions they envisage will be required to reach an agreement. Some mediators also offer the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme which can help with the costs of the joint mediation sessions. 
  • Costs vs court fees: using the court process to resolve disputes often has a significant cost attached to it, whereas the cost of a mediator is shared between the parties and is a more cost effective way to resolve issues. 

Mediation verses Court – which route is best for me?

The process of choosing a mediator

How to go about finding the right mediator for you.

  • Do your research: If you have a solicitor, they may be able to recommend suitable mediators in your local area. Alternatively, you can search on the Family Mediation Council website or the Resolution website for a mediation near you.
  • Initial consultation: Once you have located  a mediator, telephoning them to discuss their approach is a good way to establish if you think they are a good fit for what you are looking for. 

How Moore Barlow can help

If you are ready to take the next step and find the right family mediation solicitor for your family issue, Moore Barlow’s team of experienced family mediators is here to help. We provide a compassionate, neutral, and professional service designed to help families reach fair and lasting agreements. Click the link to learn more about our family mediation services and schedule a consultation with one of our specialists today.